The opposite of anger is not calmness, it's empathy...

Sympathy & Empathy are two different provisos, with wide peculiarities. Both are powered by feelings. With sympathy you feel for a person, you spectacle sorry for that person or you have a feel of compassion on them. But you do not clearly understand what they are feeling. Most of the times we are left with very little prime but to feel sympathetic since we really can't discern the dilemma of someone else. It needs elegant insight or may be an identical experience to get to empathy. 

 

And empathy can be best construed to feel with the person. So there is a vast contrast between FOR and WITH. But it is hard enough to be explicitly empathetic to someone's feeling since each and every person's feelings are UNIQUE. To a degree we can understand one's sense and try to get set to their feeling and console them. So it is always better to Empathize someone by putting us into their shoes rather that just Sympathizing them. This results more competent in Customer Service, helps us to 'go an extra mile' in appeasing our clients to design a determinative comity.

என் தேடல் நீ

தென்றலுக்கும் குளிரூட்டும் உந்தன் மூச்சு,

குயில் ராகம் கெஞ்சும் உன் பேச்சு;

கயல் தோற்கும் உன் விழியில்,

நிலவும் வெட்கப்படும் உன் வழியில்;

காந்தம் உன் பார்வையிலே,

பந்தம் ஒன்று நீ வளர்த்தாய்;

பூவை நீ சூடவோ,
பூக்கள் உனை சூடுமோ;

புல் தரையில் நீ நடந்தால்,
புலிகளும் பசுவாகும்;

உன் விரல்கள் வருடுகையில்,
மழலை விரல் மென்மை மறந்திடுதே;

உன் நிழல் வீழ்கையில் மண்ணில்,

வீழ்கிறதே என் மனது.

Stop feeling low...

Yeah... at times all of us slump under this aura. But I think, this feel is not going to give us anything dynamic.

Firstly - never, ever co-relate us with others. This would pin-point all the good things in them and make us feel awful. If you think that you do not have anything in you, join an club, a sports team. This will help bringing up a talent to be honored with-in you.

And always emphasize yourself that most of the things in this world are possible if we work hard. It is not enough if we just try, we have to rigorously try till we achieve. So set a goal and work towards it.

Make friends! Sounds abrupt right.... but not, the feel we have of missing something in life can be tackled by the feel through friendship. Sharing can tweak a lot of strain. 

Never say I can't. Give a try for everything, before you scrap it. If you get through, it will give you a great feel that you have reached.

Then grooming plays a great role in making one feel positive. It will disturb you if you feel ugly. Try altering you hair-style, clothing, walk, etc. This will help you feel illustrious.

Communication & open talks are more important. If someone makes you feel adverse, make them realize, whoever it is in a nice way how you felt. Try to fix problems at the earliest as possible. If it prolongs, bigger the problem becomes.

Always stay up-beat, do not let people to sway you down. Because always what they say is their opinion.

Be as what you are, don't try to change yourself for the sake of others. Do what makes you happy and isn't harmful.

Have a smile on your face always. It's been always proven that smiling keeps one happier. If you are sad, smile! If you're happy, smile! Smiling makes you a happier person. Even it inculcates an appealing impact on others over you. And heed it, it's worse to forget your smile than your wallet or cell phone. :)

தமிழே என் மூச்சே

தொன் மொழிகளுள் முதன் மொழி,

எம் தாய் மொழி;

வேற்று மொழியின் துணையில்லாமல் துலங்கும்,

இது தமிழ் மொழி;

இலக்கணங்கள் அதன் அரண்களாகும்,

பல் இலக்கியங்கள் அதன் தோரணங்கள்;

இவள் சக மொழிகள் இடம் தெரியவில்லை,

வானளாவும் இவள் புகழ்ச்சி இன்னும்;

பெண் வன் கொடுமை எதிர்க்க,

குரல் தந்தாள் எம் பாரதிக்கு;

சாதி வன்கொடுமை ஒழிக்க,
கட்டுரைத்தாள் நம் பெரியார்கு;

இரண்டடியாகிய உலக போதுமறைக்கு,

உரு கொடுத்தாள் வள்ளுவரின்பால்;

சுதந்திர கோஷம் முழக்க,
துணை நின்றாய் வீரத்தாயாக;

என்றும் அழியாப் புகழ் மீட்டுவாய்,
திராவிடனின் உயிர் மூச்சாகா.

ஈருயிர் ஓருடல்

உன் மடியில் நான் இருந்தேன்,
கவலைகள் என்னை அண்டவில்லை;

உன் மூச்சில் நான் வாழ்ந்தேன்,
வேதனைகள் என்னை தாக்கவில்லை;

உன் விரல் பிடித்து நான் நடந்தேன்,
பயணங்கள் என்னை மிரட்டவில்லை;

உன் அணைப்பில் துயிலுற்றேன்,
கனவுகள் என்றும் கலையவில்லை;

தவறுகள் பல நான் செய்தும்,
தண்டனைகள் பெற்றதில்லை;

பசி என்ற வார்த்தையையே,
உன் நிழலில் உணர்ந்ததில்லை;

அதிசயங்கள் பல கோடி எனும்,
"ஈருயிர்  ஓருடல்" கொண்ட அதிசயம் என்றும் உன் தாய்மைக்கே... அம்மா!

Don't change yourself for others...

If someone doesn't likes you now, they won't like you even when you change for them either!

No one is ideal in this world, we all progress in our own pace.

And when we are apt, and they are not ready to accept and love us as we are now....

Then they aren't right for us 'RIGHT NOW'.

So better don't go behind someone and blow off your dignity. At the same time, don't disport yourself and be rigid in hurting someone else true heart.

And also never devastate your genius & feeling just by foreseeing something which will never annex.

But heed it to your sense that if you are pure & natural to your sentiment, the people who have shunned and averted you will fall under a scrutiny and regress back to you with their sincere spirit.

Hanging at the end of our ropes?

Very often we feel that we are at the end of our ropes, and we can't take any more from here when something really happens bad to us...

But actually it's not the case, we are stronger than before that we could tote even callous things in our life. Realize that we're still at the edge of the rope, hasn't lost the clinch yet.

We're still in this world...

Still breathing.....

There is always a TOMORROW!

We just have to hold on, without any abrupt compromises. Things will be better soon.

"Try to spotlight on all the good things happened in our life. They will get us through this time too".

Fraternity - The way to World's Peace

In the 47th World Day of Peace, the Theme chosen by our Pope Francis was, "Fraternity, the foundation and pathway to peace”, and he wanted this to be the focus of its celebration.

How is harmony scattered?

I would say, it's HOME where peace starts fist gets damaged. During childhood the parents take intense care of their children. They want their child to the best among everything and they were even ready to give their child the best things they could ever give. Through out infancy, the kid's world was its parents. When it crosses this stage its attention gets diverted towards its friends and a small gap starts growing between his/her and the parents. When they attain the adolescence stage, where beauty, money and strength  becomes their primary attention. Now their parents will become old and incompetent before their perception.

On the other hand, through our childhood their siblings were their one and sole clique solace. Once they grow up they start inculcating jealousy, ego, self-pride and selfishness. This on a long run makes the gap between more wider and wider and ends up in delusions, liquidation of family businesses, separation of family properties. When seen at a higher phase, causes scrimmages and even blood for blood situations.

So now tell me, where do we sow the seeds for alienation? Yes it is at our home, within our kinship. At many instances we even see old parents live as if the whole blue sky as their roofs. It has become a normal erudition of sending old parents to the old-aged homes as orphans. At times they were even shut in dark & unclean attics. They were given worn our food and clothes, not given proper medication. People never visualize that the same treatment may get retreated to them from their own children.

Please note that none of the doctrines support ill-treatments of parents by their children. Rather they manifest the inflictions for those who ill treat their parents. It's clearly said, "Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers?" - Malachi 2:10.

Without Fraternity, nothing in this universe can stay stable. There is a real need to combat the 'throwaway culture' and instead has promoted a 'culture of confrontation', in order to build a more just and peaceful world.

“Fraternity is a dowry that every man and every woman brings with himself or herself as a human being, as a child of the one Father,” the communique states. “In the face of the many tragedies that afflict the family of nations - poverty, hunger, underdevelopment, conflicts, migrations, pollution, inequalities, injustice, organized crime, fundamentalism - fraternity is the foundation and the pathway to peace.”

இளைஞனே, ஒரு நிமிடம்!

ஆம்! "இளைஞனே, ஒரு நிமிடம்!" என்ற தலைப்பில் மலங்கரை விளக்கு பதிப்பு OCT 2013 இல் அருட் தந்தை Fr. ஆன்டனி அவர்கள் குறிப்பாக இளைஞர்களுக்காக பகிர்ந்து கொண்ட கருத்துகள் என்னை வெகுவாக கவர்ந்தது. என்னை மட்டும் அல்லாமல் மேலும் பல இளைஞர்களையும் கவர்ந்திருக்கும், உள்மன உந்துதலை ஏற்படுத்தி இருக்கும், என்னாலும் உயர முடியும் என்ற வைராக்கியத்தை ஆணித்தரமாக சுட்டியிருக்கும் என நம்புகிறேன்.

அன்னார் அவர்கள் ஒரு கப்பலை உவமையாக காட்டி விளக்கிய கருத்துகள் ஆழ்ந்த உண்மைகளை கொண்டுள்ளன. ஒரு கப்பல் எப்படி பல இன்னல்களை தாண்டி கடலில் செல்கிறதோ அதே போன்று இளைஞர்களாகிய நாமும் வாழ்க்கை துயரங்கள், கேவலங்கள், கொடுந் தடைகள் ஆகியவற்றை வெறும் முயற்சி மட்டும் இல்லாமல் விடா முயற்சியோடு எதிர்கொண்டு வெற்றி இலக்கை எட்டவேண்டும். மேலும் அவர்கள் கருத்தின் படி, "நம் நண்பர்கள் நம்மை செதுக்குவதை விட நம் பகைவர்கள் நம்மை செதுக்குகிறார்கள்." என்பது மிகவும் சரி, நமக்கு சாதகமானவை நமக்கு கற்பிற்பவைகளை விட பாதகமானவைகளே அதிகம் கற்பிற்கின்றன. மேலும் நாம் அவற்றால் இழந்தவைகளை நினைவூட்டி நம்மை சிந்திக்க வழி வகை செய்கின்றன. இளைஞர்களாகிய நாம் எந்த ஒன்றை சார்ந்து வாழும் ஒருவராக இருக்க கூடாது. சாதகமற்ற சூழல்களையும் வாய்ப்புகளாக மாற்றி அமைத்து கொள்ளவேண்டும்.

இப்படி தான் தாமஸ் அல்வா எடிசன் அவர்கள் பல நூறு முறைகள், பல உலோகங்களை பயன்படுத்தியும் மின்விளக்கின் உதிரியான டங்ஸ்டனை கண்டு பிடிக்க முடியவில்லை. இதை கண்ட அவர் உதவியாளர்க்கு இத்தனை நூறு முறை முயன்றும் முயற்சி அனைத்தும் வீணாகி விட்டதே என்று வருந்தினார். கடைசியில் எடிசன் டங்ஸ்டனை கண்டு பிடித்த பிறகு கூறினார், "நான் இத்தனை நூறு முறைகள் முயன்றது வீணாகவில்லை மாறாக என்னால் இத்தனை நூறு உலோகங்கள் டங்ஸ்டன் உருவாக்க பயன்பட மாட்டாது என்பதை கண்டறியவைத்து விட்டது," என்றார்.

இளைஞனே, சுலபமான வழிகளை பின்பற்றி அடையும் வெற்றியானது நிரந்தரமானதல்ல, விடமுயற்சியுடன் இறுதிவரை போராடி அடையும் வெற்றியே உன்னதமானதும் சாதித்து விட்டோம் என்ற மன நிறைவை கொடுக்கும் ஒன்றாகவும் அமையும்.

"முனைவோம் சாதிப்போம்."

அன்புடன்,

தா. ஜாண் ரோஜர்

A forgotten birthday

Yeah... I did forget my friend's birthday today. No he is not, not my friend. Don't know how to call our bonding. It's been there since the past 6 years. He is more than a friend, a brother and any other relationship in this world to me. We never had any misconstrues between us, to be so candid. There had been a million instances where we have helped, consoled each other without expecting anything in return from each of us. There was a great coordination on our vibes. It was ever parallel and never crossed. None of us have ever hurt either of us opinions, ideas and credence. Our friendship was so speculated throughout our college in finding such a strong acquaintance.

But we never thought that we both will get separated and get settled at two different corners of the country. It was a big twinge at the time when my train left the Dadar, Mumbai railway station. Both of our eyes were into pools of tears but had never shed a single drop out in a thought not to hurt each of us emotions even more. The last hug and the pat on my back, is still felt very often.

Though miles apart, our connection wasn't interrupted by any of our daily routines. Every time when we speak over the phone and just before the moment when we are about to hit the red button on our phones, both of us will try to keep our voices more brisk and not to make the other one realize how each of us feel in missing each other.

And today is his birthday. I'm such a dim-witted, who have forgotten this priceless day which I would never ever forget again. I'm so sorry Aman.

Oh God, thank you so much for giving me such a friendship which I can keep within my soul till my heart has it's last beat. And with this feel, I can rejoice and cherish through out my life though I'm in whatever situation.

My first post...

Just peeped in for the first time to post my personal views on my own blog. But I'm conventional with my other community related blogs.

This dawn (10.10.2013) was all good until I heard something which made me so upset. It was said that teachers hold a space above God. Seems these are just in scripts. Outrageous incidents these days portray teachers being looked upon not even as a fellow human. 

The NEWS tweaked in sore to my conscience, "A college principal at Tuticorin - India was brutally severed by his 3 engineering students within the college campus in-front of other stunned students, just for suspending one of those 3". What a goad viciousness.... aren't they civilized enough to know how to react on situations? What's the scope in them towards their next elevation in life, what have they planned of after completing their studies? What would they contribute to the society? At least to their family?

Do we really need such souls in mankind? Oh Govt! Please don't leave these animals out of bars and may they not seep out of the law fissures.

“Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.”

― Aristotle